Delete my number

it's never easy
Almost always the same
ending up feeling so lame that I aimed to spark a flame, become you number one dame but I'm not to blame
Almost impossible to tame cause you were never framed to give up your last name
It's a shame
I was All a part of the game

to think
you were something I was proud of
Now I'm lowkey sick of this so called love you speak of but soar above, black dove flying with our clove
damn wish you wore a glove

I can't even be mad
Just pimp slapped my pride
You had me confide and I complied which jump started our joy ride bedside leading to a landslide of wide divides of my backside
Here I am, bug eyed sitting seaside opened my third eye to the blind side while I'm trying to find the downside of this gallon of cyanide but no sadness manifests in this fried bride for all my tears have dried and I've straightened my stride
Wait
he replied

Ambiguity

i dont know who i am anymore
but thats not necesarily a bad thing
the hardest part is distinguishing

growth
the sun shines brighter
faces smile wider

wither
the night gets darker
faces cry harder

am i happy?
i see the sun but i feel the night
i smile while a tear falls from my eyes

through it all
its scares me and comforts me to know
im falling in love
with a nebulous

Grout and Tiling

is was never a fair fight
my gun is empty
my knife is broken
your always with the upper hand

im literally beneath your feet
you stand on me
over me
defeated i crumble
you tumble
finally I'm free
but what good is a broken floor.

Get up

i was lost
now im found
but im struggling putting together pieces of myself on the ground

see we didnt break even
the edges are ragged
parts that were smooth are all fucked up and jagged

God forbid I ever go back
I cant deal with that hurt anymore
so here I am
picking myself up off the floor

The Reality of Black Medicine Soon to be a Fantasy

     As an African-American freshman female at Virginia State University, there's a lot I've realized about black teens in today's society. Despite the obvious oppression in EVERY aspect of our lives by other races, mostly white America, there's actually 3 sides to the way young African-Americans operate. Mostly everyone knows about those who lack the motivation whether be it from themselves or others to do anything meaningful with their lives and those who actually do become something of themselves due to their hard-work and dedication. But it is the middle-ground of teens that need the most help, those who despite their own adherence don't actually make it to where they wanted and pictured themselves to be. It baffles me to how less than 5 percent of doctors are black but yet pre-med concentrations are packed at HBCU's. The numbers for black medical school applicants are actually decreasing ans we speak but I could hardly find a seat in my Biology for Biology majors class on the first day. Many have the drive to become great but become lost somewhere along the way. Instead of trying to get more teens of color to become interested in Medicine, we should fight to keep us interested. Too many professionals are failing us which makes us believe that we really aren't meant to BE great. Until we help those who are lost find their way through, the goal to have more blacks in medicine will remain a fantasy.

The Morning After

Sigh
Just last night
We were lost together
We found ourselves
In the middle of nowhere
But we were still together
Just last night
My toes talked to my headboard
While my head tossed and jerked at the thought
Just last night
You were drinking from my fountains
You always loved freshwater
Just last night
Was the best time of my life
And the worst
Just last night
You told me things
You wouldn't repeat
You would never say something you didn't mean
You meant it last night
But not
This morning
I woke up alone
looking dead on the outside
But I'm more dead inside
This morning
you found it easy to forget about me
You have bigger projects to do
I'm just a charity case
This morning
I bit my lips
I still tasted you
You
you kissed me last night
I took it for granted not knowing that would be the last one
This morning
You think back
You had this all planned out
I was too naive to see
Your blueprint laid out in front of me

Lucid dreams

Everyone tells you to never give up on your dreams. That with hard work and if you never lose hope and never lose sight of whats really important to you, that's you'll get to where you wanna be. Then why, after so long, are you still dreaming?

dreams
ain't nothing but a reminder
reminds you of what you haven't achieved
shows you that your goals have not been reached
because sometimes they can't be
sometimes they're simply to far
out of reach

nightmares
those I like
you can't be scared of something that's never happened
can't trip over something behind you
meaning you've already conquered your fear once
you'll do it again

waking up
from a dream
brings you down
depresses you
because
it will almost always
stay a dream