Criminal desires

Everybody has had those nights. Sitting up contemplating whether your crush has a crush on you or not. Maybe those signals he or she sent you were just simple acts of kindness.  For some people , it's more extreme than just a simple crush...

Criminal Desires 

Is a crime a crime if it's done with you in mind?
There are so many things I wanna do to you
But
Will you wanna do the same
I don't know if your as extreme
As I
I
I want be what keeps you up at night
What you can't function without
I want you to stay with me here
Here
Where I'm in control
I'll stay in control
You don't know what your doing
You won't remember any of this in the mornin
Your acting upon you sexual desires as a man
Nothin else
But I can't help believing that it's more
A drunk tongue speaks a sober mind
But your not drunk
Not just drunk at least

( Inspired from The Weeknd - Professional )

Bruises and Barriers

My way of explaining the process of heartbreaks:


Bruises and Barriers


Don't fall for somebody
Who trips up everybody
You won't be nothing
But a scraped knee
A bruised elbow

I know it hurts
Might not have foreseen your downfall
But you definitely fell
Hard
The loud thud of your heart hitting then shattering against the concrete isn't easy to forget

You can't bounce back
But you'll be patched right up
Reinforcing the cracks
Makes you harder to break
And harder to trust

Cancer

Cancer

Why am i doing this to myself
i know i don't need them
i barely even want them
And yet i still find myself in their control

i used to be able to do what they do
Reduce
Reuse
Recycle
All without having to think twice
Now i can't even control my emotions

Cancerous feelings 
Starts small then starts to shut down my defenses 
Eventually i'll be nothing but a shell
A shell of what i tried to be for them
Tried to be
i couldn't succeed

The "not-so" start of my writing

Writing as always been my release. It all started when I first met my father. I was 7 and devastated. To him I was nothing but a check he sent out every month. A hurt military brat, I didn't know what to do until my english teacher made us write about our lives. I never stopped ever since then. I don't write for sympathy or to complain though, I write to remain sane. My feelings come out and soon you'll realize im not a typical mopey writer. Im not always sad or in a melancholy state of mind but i'll let you read those poems when they come. But now, I want to show you all the "first" poem I've written that I believe is somewhat well-written. I put first in quotations because its really just the oldest one I can find. Many other poems are just lost somewhere in my room. I wrote this towards the end of a what I thought was a "relationship" at the time with my first real high school crush. Lol it might be a little cliche but it was a pivotal poem during a pivotal point of my writing style. That's why its the "not-so" start of my writing. From here on out I'll pretty much just continue adding my poems and I might explain some and others I might not. I might even just add pictures or simple stories. But meanwhile here it is, my "first" poem, Nothing. 

Nothing

You've left me speechless

So many questions

I dont want the answer too

Why did you lie to him

Thought we had something special

At least thats what you told me

But then you went and denied

Everything

As if it never existed

Erased

Gone